Longevity

Posted on May 5, 2008
Filed Under WTF, blogging, life | Leave a Comment

Well, well. Haven’t I been the naughty blogger? Yes, I’ve ignored this blog something fierce. And it’s not that I’ve just let my passion for blogging wane—oh no. It’s much worse than that. I’ve actually been unfaithful and have been loving up a new blog across town behind this blog’s back. Yup, I’m a blogging hussy.

 

So what blog have I been two-timing with? It’s my new full time job and a project that’s been taking up a lot of my time (not that I’m complaining).

 

May I present to you Her Hairstyle Blog.

 

Now I know she looks pretty generic right now but I promise that a custom design is in the works. :) Her Hairstyle Blog is the flagship blog in the beauty channel within the new blog network Blog Island. Myself and a team of lovely ladies were hired on to start up and help develop this new network. I tell you—I’ve learned more about blogging in the last few weeks than I have since I’d first heard of it years ago.

 

So that’s what I’ve been up to. Please check her out and feel free to sign up for the rss feed so you can get lots of killer hairstyling advice delivered right to you. Oh, and just in case you think I’m talking out of my ass with all the hairstyling advice please know that I used to be a professional hairstylist before I quit to stay home with my girls. So when I tell you that bangs are in style or that you shouldn’t color over your bleach blonde hair with a dark brown, store bought hair color I really, really mean it,

 

Ok, enough talk of work—let’s move on to bitching about the weather, shall we. Honest to God if I ever run into Al Gore I’m going to smack him repeatedly while I scream “Global warming my ass!”

 

It is May 4th today and this is what Mother Nature bestowed upon us

cedar-with-snow.jpg

    

How sick and twisted is that? The weather has generally sucked for all of spring which can only be expected as it was just carrying on the tradition started by the disgustingly cold winter we had before it. Mother Nature loves consistency apparently.

 

This pretty much sums up this year’s cold, miserable weather.

longevity.jpg

 

 

 

In case you can’t make it out the word on the stepping stone says “Longevity”. Very apropos wouldn’t you say?

 

Last night my husband and I, along with four of our neighbors and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law decided that we were tired of waiting for warm weather to come. We put up the Gazebo in our backyard, set up the propane heater on top of the patio table and proceeded to drink ourselves into believing it was warm.

 

We failed miserably.

 

By about eight o’clock we were so cold that our one neighbor had started pulling her feet up under her butt in order to thaw them. We headed inside our house and proceeded to drink more wine while our complaints about the cold became nearly as bitter as the weather itself.

 

At this point I’ve really given up. I believe this will be as close as I get to blooming flowers this year

snow-flowers.jpg

    

And I’m waiting, just waiting, for Al Gore to have the balls to show his face around here.

 

Selling Relationships: Would You Sell Your Twitter or Facebook Account?

Posted on April 15, 2008
Filed Under WTF, work | 1 Comment

If you do any amount of business online you know that web 2.0 is where it’s at. Instead of impersonal transactions between buyers and sellers we’ve replaced that with a kinder, gentler method. Now we add each other to “buddy lists”, get in each other’s Facebooks and tweet to one another on an hourly basis. The whole thing is just so darn—civilized. That’s to say, it was until someone found a way to crap all over yet another good idea.

So here’s my question to you: How would you feel if your online friends sold you at auction?

While it may seem like I’ve been sniffing the old Elmer’s glue again I sit before you in a state of shock as I try to wrap my brain around the fact that some guy is actually selling his Twitter friends on eBay.

Andrew Baron has put up his Twitter buddies and any personal information they may have shared with him over the course of their relationship and selling it at a whopping profit to the highest bidder. Wow, man, where’s the web 2.0 love?

I know most of us are on the internet to make money—and God knows I’m one of them—but am I the only one that thinks this is about 10 feet across the “cheesy bastard” line?

Now I do realize that not everyone on my Twitter account is a close and personal friend (uh—sorry) but they are either people I “know” from other online communities, or they have a blog I like to read or they started following me and I thought “what the hell?” and reciprocated. No matter the reasons I started following it sure wasn’t with the intentions of selling their virtual asses at auction.

To me this is just another way to encourage short cuts and a cheapening of something on the internet that is supposed to be good. There was SEO that was supposed to separate the good websites from the cheesy ones—then black hatters ruined that. There was supposed to be proper email marketing and email newsletters—and spammy bastards buggered that up. There were supposed to be backlinks from one website to another as a “vote” for your site to encourage quality—then people started buying and selling links. Then web 2.0 came around and the beauty of it was you couldn’t hide behind your parlor tricks anymore—you had to actually interact with people and earn their trust, respect and friendship before you earned any money. Now that’s for chumps and you can just buy the relationships of others.

And if it starts with Twitter does that mean Facebook is next? There’s quite a bit of information stored in Facebook profiles. Would you be comfortable if one of your friends sold all that information to a complete stranger just to make a buck?

I know we’re all looking for the most efficient way to make a living online but I think there comes a time when we, as online business people, have to draw a line in the sand. Web 2.0 was supposed to be about reaching out and making online relationships and I, for one, don’t think relationships can or should be bought or sold—at any price.

Like a train wreck—you just can’t help but look. Here’s the eBay Twitter Auction.

So what do you think? Are you comfortable with the buying and selling of Twitter accounts and other web 2.0 lists?

I’m Having a Love Affair…with CommentLuv

Posted on April 9, 2008
Filed Under blogging | 8 Comments

In my quest for super cool Wordpress plugins I happened across one named CommentLuv. It happened yesterday when I was leaving a comment on a blog I was visiting for the first time. At the bottom, instead of just asking for my name and website address with my comment it also asked if I wanted to enable CommentLuv.

 

“Well, why the hell not?” I thought to myself. Who wouldn’t want their comment given some lovin’? So I said yes and hoped I wouldn’t get my comment’s heart broken. Imagine my surprise when below my posted comment there was written the title of MY last blog post as a clickable link. Now that’s some good lovin’!

 

I loved CommentLuv so much I installed it on this very blog. So try it out and post a comment. Tell me what your favorite Wordpress plugin is and why and then see your last blog post title magically appear by your comment.

 

And if you love it like I do, pick up CommentLuv for yourself.

 

Come on people, share the CommentLuv!!

What are Your Bad Mom Moments?

Posted on April 8, 2008
Filed Under kids | 6 Comments

 

 

Have you ever been a “bad Mommy?” Hey, we’re only human and God knows being a mom is a 24/7 job with no handbook and crap wages but does that give us an excuse to push the limits of our children’s well being and safety in order to cut corners?

 

Today I found an interesting article which talks about this very thing. From leaving your kids in the car while you and hubby eat dinner in a restaurant (I’m not freaking kidding!) to letting your kids sample raw cookie batter. The article talks about incidents of moms behaving badly.

 

OK, when I read this article I was completely appalled at the couple who let the kids sleep in the car while they ate dinner in the restaurant. Yeah, they could see the kids through the window but still! If you want a meal by yourself that badly hire a freaking babysitter you cheap asses.

 

On the other hand I nearly wet myself laughing at the cookie dough sampling. One of my biggest pet peeves is how parents these days treat their kids like they were born without skin or an immune system. Your kids will not die from scooping a little raw cookie dough so relax! Your kids also won’t die if they:

 

 

I instill good hygiene in my girls because I think it goes hand in hand with learning to take care of your body and respecting yourself. But I also know that I don’t force my kids to eat all those healthy fruits and veggies only to rely on germ killing soap to keep them alive and kicking. Think about it, people.

 

As for using the TV as a babysitter—yup, I’ve done that on occasion when I had a tight deadline and work just had to get done. I do it as rarely as possible but I’m not going to beat myself up over it because every parent does it once in a while and if you say you don’t you’re a liar.

 

So I guess the moral of the story is we all have our little “bad moments” and it just depends on where we draw the line between convenience and dangerous. I won’t leave my kids in a car while I go shopping and I won’t leave them in the house to run to the store if they need medicine (that’s what neighbors are for—try making some friends for God’s sake!). I will run to my neighbor’s door quickly to borrow something and leave the kids in the house alone. My girls are old enough that if I can’t leave them alone for the 15 seconds it takes me to make it to my neighbor’s door and back I might as well forgo showering and potty breaks for fear they’ll light themselves on fire during my absence.

 

So how about you? Where do you draw the line and what “shortcuts” do you allow yourself in order to maintain your sanity?

Quit Trying to Hire Me!

Posted on April 7, 2008
Filed Under harder than it should be, work | 8 Comments

I know there’s an unemployment problem in today’s workforce but if you’re me you’d never know it. You see I regularly get unsolicited job offers from friends, family and neighbors. While it sounds like an ideal situation and I should be grateful to be considered so “employable” there is a distinct problem with this—I already have a job.

 

I’ve had the same job for three years now but very few people seem to believe me. I’m a WAHM, and more specifically, a freelance writer but by the way people react when I tell them what I do you’d think I’d just announced that I’m the Tooth Fairy.

 

I suppose the crux of the problem is that, unlike many WAHMs who sell candles or home décor, I have no catalogues of wares to pass out or home parties for them to host in order to get free goodies. I suppose I could hand them a lavender scented sample of my latest published article but it’s just not the same, is it?

 

So instead of people knowing me as the local “candle” lady they look at me with an expression of disbelief and pity when I tell them I’ve already got a job and like it—thank you very much! I’m sure they view me as some deranged and aged beauty queen who dons her ratty ball gown and tarnished tiara in order to go to the grocery store—hanging on to the past with the tenacity that only the mentally insane have mastered.

 

“Oh, just look at her” They whisper behind my back. “She drops her kids off at school, goes back home, sits down in front of her computer and pretends to work. How sad.”

 

 WAHMs in general have it tough when pinned up against those that work outside the home. Our jobs are often seen as “hobbies” that bring in a little mad money until our kids are old enough to go to school. Never mind the fact that many work at home moms bring in just as much if not more money than their counterparts that work outside of the home. But still, we don’t have real jobs.

 

Personally, I just smile and nod when they offer me a job these days. I tell them I’ll think about it because it’s just easier, and then I go inside to make some money. And when they’re complaining that their boss is a tyrant or they can’t get their kid’s birthday off at work I just smile bigger…and offer them a job.

Surviving Spring Break: AKA One Little, Two Little, Three Little Prozac

Posted on March 31, 2008
Filed Under kids | Leave a Comment

 

It’s that wonderful time of the year again where rabid children run amok through the streets while parents everywhere lock themselves in the bathroom and raid the medicine cabinets for bottles of sweet relief. Yes, that’s right, it’s spring break.

Today was our first day of spring break and so far I’m only mildly stressed. It all started out well enough. I got up extra early and wrote blog posts for my clients before my girls were even out of bed and felt quite proud of having gotten it done so early. Of course I was robbed of my efficiency-induced high when both clients’ servers were down and I couldn’t post to said blogs. Just my luck.

Now my challenge, should I chose to deny myself a drug induced coma and accept it, is to get my work done AND entertain the kids for this week. Can we say Mission Impossible?

When work and kids collide a WAHM’s job gets tricky but with a little planning I’m hoping to avoid a total melt down. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth, on making through spring break unscathed.

Plan Outings

There is no way you can get through a week without taking your kids out and doing something with them. When I have to entertain my girls on a no-school day I usually opt for bowling or a movie. We have a bowling alley not five minutes from our house and both girls love going. So that’s definitely on the agenda. The cheap theater is also always a hit. Yeah, they still gouge you on the popcorn and drinks but at least the admission isn’t equal to the average mortgage payment.

We’re also going to hit the library. Outings don’t have to cost money—they just have to give your kids something to do besides whining.

Idle Hands Make for Little Devils

Bored kids are dangerous to your mental health so keep them occupied, even if it’s with simple stuff. Hitting the dollar store for cheap craft items usually works wonders. All young kids love crafts and they don’t have to be fancy-pants structured ones either. One of my favorites is to get some paper plates, cut them out in the shapes of funky masks and then let the girls go to town decorating them. Super easy, super cheap and super fun.
Well, it’s too quiet in here and now I’m nervous—better go. If you’ve got any suggestions on what to do to occupy kids during spring break please leave a comment. The life you save may be my own.

From the Mouth’s of Babes

Posted on March 28, 2008
Filed Under kids | Leave a Comment

For the past two nights I’ve had troubling sleeping. It probably has to do with the fact that work wise I have a lot on my plate right now so my brain wakes me up at 3 am and basically forces me to get to work. Yes, I’m my own slave-driving boss. Figures.

So today I’m picking up my youngest daughter from Kindergarten and as we drive home I’m thinking maybe I can convince her to have a short nap with me after lunch. Here is the resulting conversation:

Me: How about we lay down for a quick nap after lunch?

Her: No

Me: Awwww. You never nap with me anymore. Mommy misses her little cuddle bug. Don’t you want to have some snuggly time—just you and me?

(Long Pause)

Her: Mommy, I’m not falling for your little trick.

Busted

PHP: The Axis of Evil?

Posted on March 28, 2008
Filed Under harder than it should be, work | Leave a Comment

Today I would like to take a moment to complain at great lengths about the coding language PHP. The problem is, I don’t have the time to complain at great lengths because I’ve wasted half of my freaking work day just trying to figure it out and now I’m behind schedule.  Years ago (and I won’t say how many!) I used to love building my own websites and loved to tinker with layout and designs. Of course this was in the days of simple HTML and heck, even I could figure that out. Then the years went by and some arse invented PHP and WHAM! Everyone converted and my lovely little HTML knowledge and $5 combined will get me a Starbuck’s coffee.  Today I was simply trying to pick a Wordpress Theme for this very blog. It should have been easy but the first one I picked wasn’t widget enabled so I couldn’t add all the latest goodies and toys. That’s very important to me as the only reason I made this blog in the first place was so I could keep up with the blogging Jones’ (just kidding). So I went in search of another one I liked, found it, loaded it and discovered you couldn’t modify the side panel. Oh Christ!  Back to the free Wordpress templates I go. Three hours later I’ve chosen my new Wordpress theme, modified the graphics with my sad-ass old Microsoft Image Composer (need Adobe Photoshop!!!!) and have had to settle for crappy graphics on a so-so theme. All because I don’t have a clue in hell how to modify PHP.  Am I really that stuck in my ways or is there anyone else who longs for the days of a simple img src= put_up_my_freaking_image_here_and_now.jpg kinda code?

Oh No…Not Another Mommy Blog

Posted on March 28, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Scootch over kiddies, there’s yet another Mommy/WAHM blog in the blogosphere. Yeah, yeah..just like another hole in the head. I know. But I was feeling horribly jealous and left out by the fact that every other WAHM I know has a rockin’ blog and I don’t.  I’ve been a Work at Home Mom for three years now and a Stay at Home Mom for four years before that. I work as a freelance writer, blogger and dabble a little in internet marketing. Yes, I have internet ADD. What can I say.  This blog will be a little bit business and a little bit pleasure. I’ll probably talk about the <heavy sarcasm> fabulously glamorous business of working from home </heavy sarcasm> along with general rants about things that just piss me off. Lucky you to be here to witness it in all its glory.